Sunday, May 27, 2007

You Might Be A School Employee

My friend Karen K. sent this to me in an email. I thought you all could use a laugh today.

You might be a school employee if:

  • you want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off
  • it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered
  • you can tell it's a full moon or if it going to rain, snow, hail, anything without ever looking outside
  • you believe, "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on a report card
  • you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
  • when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior
  • you have no social life between August and June
  • you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce
  • you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce
  • you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge"
  • you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the UHAUL boxes should they decide to move out of district
  • you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form
  • you can't imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then require uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public
  • meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"
  • you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference
  • you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons, and desks and chairs for that matter!!!
  • the words "I have college debt for this?" has ever come out of your mouth

Ok, some of these may be a little extreme. (Well, I guess that depends on which school district you're working in. lol) I can relate to the one about naming my children and the one about snapping my fingers at other children. Hope you got a good laugh today. :)


Amy Forehand said...

I work in an inner city school, so I can relate to EVERY ONE of them!!!

Revka said...

As just a parent, I can relate to several of these. Thanks for the laughs, Karen! :)

Karen_thrifty said...

I can definitely relate to the name one and the snapping of the fingers. lol

When I was pregnant with our son, my husband suggested a particular boy's name. I said "No way! That kid drove me crazy all year long!!!!"